Gluten Free

I have never been a huge fan of bread or pasta.

My son can finish off an entire loaf of bread in one morning if left unattended long enough (ask me how I know).  My husband, well, he does a good job of restraining himself now, but we'll just say that my son comes by it honestly.

Now, I'm no animal.  I too can't resist a steamy, squishy loaf of freshly baked bread, but it isn't my choice indulgence.

I think that's one reason I chose to start my "transformation" by giving up wheat. I sure love my doughnuts, cakes, cookies and pies, but I've conquered my need to do a slow drive by of the Safeway bakery section when I'm picking up groceries.

I am a self-proclaimed sugar addict.  I think the first step is admitting you have a problem.

But I am not a craver of bread. When it comes to empty carbohydrates, it is not my poison of choice.

So far on this journey, I've done well not having any wheat.  I'll admit, a couple of times I may have been caught nibbling on my daughter's grilled cheese crusts (eew. gross. I don't even like crusts), and two days ago I ate a Timbit.

But overall, I haven't missed the wheat. Until last night, when I was having a rough day and the call was made to order pizza.  We went with Panago, because they have a gluten free crust (I feel obligated to tell you that the crust has traces of gluten, because it is made in the same kitchen as the regular crusts.  If you are celiac, or actually have a gluten allergy, probably not a good idea.  And now I feel like an idiot, because if you are celiac, you know way more about this than I do and should not take advice from me).

So, how was the pizza?  It was... meh.

My dear husband, in his continual exuberance, exclaimed that it is, in fact, the greatest pizza crust he has ever tasted.  Later he conceded that he may have overshot his original impression.

Here's my take:
There's something about this gluten free crust that made me feel like it was holding on for dear life.  It felt like some very well meaning, well organized crumbs that were bonded together by sheer goodwill, and at the moment they entered my mouth, their strength collapsed and they scattered like cockroaches do when you turn on a light.

Those poor souls. But, can you blame them?  It's like making paper mache with no glue (you do use glue with paper mache, right? I really haven't done it before.  I am starting to realize this post is making me seem very ill-informed).

They valiantly tried.

It wasn't horrible.

And the texture was at least one step above cardboard.

I think next time I'll just order a regular pizza and do what I usually do: eat all the cheese and leave the crust for my gluten-happy son.

How about you? Do you have a favorite gluten-free recipe?  If so, share it in the comments, or on my Facebook!

What Would be Different?

I'm about to have a conversation with a new Facebook friend of mine.  We scheduled it for 6:30 p.m. my time.  He lives in Pennsylvania, so it'll be 8:30 for him.  I haven't met him in person, but we've talked sparingly on the interwebs.

He and his wife have lost a ton of weight together, and have now made it their mission to help others lose weight, too.  I'm a little panicked, because I:
 1. hate talking on the phone
 2. hate talking to people I don't know.
 3. hate talking about the fact that I'm overweight.

This is going to be a hard phone call for me.

Last night, while we were scheduling our phone call, my friend asked me to think about something before our talk today.

He said:
"Until we talk I want you to think on something...if you woke up this morning healthy and at a healthy weight, how would today have been different for you?"

Sigh.

So much would be different.

Now, I don't have any grand illusions about how my life will be perfect if I reach a healthy weight. I know my problems don't diminish with my waist line.

But I do know some things will be different.

The more I thought about his question, the more I realized I could narrow all of it down to two different areas: shame and pain.

A lot of the areas I felt would be different involved physical pain. Stuff like I would sleep better, I would have my job, I would be able to play with my kids.

I know with my spinal issues I don't have a guarantee that I'll ever have my pain lessened. But it sure makes sense that losing weight would only help.

The other area I could see the greatest change (hopefully) is change. I beat myself up over being overweight more than I do anything else. I know a part of the reason I don't wear makeup hardly ever, never do my hair, etc. is because I don't think I deserve it.

I also avoid the doctor, flying, and going to lots of social events because I'm ashamed of myself. My biggest fear is that someone will draw attention to my weight problem.

I know that losing weight won't take away my shame, but my Healer will.

I've already taken the big step of addressing my weight issue with my friends and family on Facebook, and here on this blog. I have hope that things will change.

Smoothie Operator

Ah the smoothie.  The much vaulted drink of the health industry.  Multi million dollar corporations sell various powders to mix in your blender to lose excess weight.

I, on the other hand, tend to stick to stuff I have in my house.  I've tried various smoothie mixes, but alas, my sensitive gag reflex doesn't allow me.  I wish I weren't so "picky," but I physically cannot help myself.  What's the point of drinking a smoothie if I can't keep it down?

So, after playing around with various healthy ingredients, here's my go to recipe:

1/2 cup fat free greek yogurt.  (I've tried different flavors, including plain, but I'm most happy with either vanilla or strawberry)

2 TBSP of chia seeds.

2 TBSP of organic, extra virgin cold pressed coconut oil. (I LOVE coconut oil.  It adds a lovely flavor to the smoothie.  Plus it has a gazillion health benefits. I'm a bit of an emetophobe (Intense fear of throwing up), so knowing that coconut oil has anti-viral properties that fight nasty stomach viruses, I am in 100%).

At least 1 Cup raw spinach

1 cup of frozen fruit.  Always a type of berry (strawberry or blueberry), and usually one other fruit.  Sometimes I will add one mandarin orange in place of the other frozen fruit

A dash of cinnamon.  Yum.

For me, the key is to add ingredients that will make me feel satisfied and give me energy. That's why I add the chia seeds and greek yogurt.  I try to stay away from fruits with a really high sugar content. Also, I don't add any juice.  That's just extra unneeded sugar.  If you need to add moisture, consider almond milk or water.  I usually just use water.

For today's smoothie, I used frozen strawberries and a blend of mango, peaches, and strawberries.


What ingredients do you put in your smoothie?

Support

When I finally decided I was crazy enough to admit to the world (a.k.a. Facebook) that I really need to lose 100 pounds, I pushed the share button and held my breath.

I'm not sure what I was waiting for. I have pretty positive friends on Facebook.  Maybe it's because I've systematically blocked all of the negative ones.

Either way, I was completely overwhelmed at the result. Tons of likes and comments, private messages, invites for weight loss support groups... I couldn't believe it.  In the matter of three hours, I had over three hundred blog views.

So, thank you.  I honestly feel like this was the next big step in allowing myself to receive love just the way I am, without trying to fix everything first, or pretend like nothing was wrong.  I never hid from my friends and family that I needed to lose weight, but I pretended like my extra weight did not exist.

The thing is, I'm a pretty orderly person.  I like to have a system for everything.  Just ask my husband.    The dishes in the dishwasher go in a certain way.  I have a very specific way of preparing my grocery list that has multiple steps.  Pretty much everything I do follows a system. But you know what, it works! I am much more effective when I follow a system.

So, I have all of these supporters who have given me a commitment to support me along this journey, and I don't want to take that precious gift for granted.  How do I make sure I am making the best use of the support that's been offered to me?  Right now I feel pretty overwhelmed and scattered, but I want to be more centered.

If you have any ideas, let me know! I'd love to hear them.  Feel free to tell me in the comments or send me a private message on Facebook.

Day 1

Today is the day.  I am starting January with some simple goals so I don't get completely overwhelmed.  Every month I will add new goals.

This month's goal:

No Pop (soda, coke, sody pop, fizzy beverage, soft drink, bone decayer, whatever you call it.)
No Wheat

Work out at least 2 times a week.

I'm also going to try incorporating more vegetables, limiting sugar and starches overall, etc.  But, those three are my concrete goals for the month of January.

I'll let you know how it's going!

The Plan

The year is winding down, and I am winding up for the beginning of my challenge!

I've been working on my plan of action and my plan for this blog.  Let me fill you in on what I have so far.

Food: I feel, for me, simple is best.  I easily get overwhelmed by all the details of specific diets.  So, I am simply going with no sugar, no gluten, limited carbs/starches, no processed food, no fast food, lots of veggies. My goal also is to introduce more and more raw foods to my diet.  Lots of water!

Exercise:  Because of the state of my spine, I am very limited in physical activities available to me.  My goal overall is to be more active, and to work out 3 times a week.  I will be doing mostly water running and aqua fit, but as I lose weight and hopefully my body responds, I'd love to add in other exercises.

I am not willing to: go on fad diets, have surgeries, take weird weight loss supplements.

For this blog, I will include progress updates, pictures, recipes, book reviews, and more.

If you have any input or suggestions, let me know in the comments!

You've Got to Start Somewhere

I've struggled with my weight since I can remember. The past few years have been especially rough on my body. Having my second baby and my second, third, and fourth spinal surgery have not helped much.

So, now I'm on a mission.  I finally feel like I'm in a place where I can make this happen.  So, here I am.

It's not really even about losing weight.  It's about having freedom.  Freedom to play with my kids.  Freedom to go on long walks with my husband. Freedom to travel around the world.  Freedom to fulfill the dreams I have for my life.

I've always been afraid to take risks and set goals for myself because I have been paralyzed by my fear of failure.

I don't feel paralyzed anymore.  I'm ready to risk my pride and put myself out there.

My goal is to lose 100 pounds by the end of 2014.  I know that's a lot of weight, but trust me, it will greatly benefit my health to lose it.

If the weight comes off slower, I'm okay with that, too.  I'm not going to give up because I get discouraged. I won't consider myself a failure if I don't reach my goal, but imagine if I do!

I realized I've got to start somewhere.  So, here I am.

This will be my place to post updates, pictures, recipes, laments, whatever.

I promise I will say something embarrassing, ridiculous, and hilarious along the way.  So, stick around, and feel free to join me on my journey.